September 2010
Conversations over dinner (please keep in mind that this is all being uttered with an incredibly thick North Carolinian accent)
Dad: Am I bugging the crap out of you yet? Me: *blank stare* Dad: Are you going to miss me when I leave? Me: *blank stare* Dad: What’s that thing the kids say? A-la….A-la-vista, Al. Me: You mean hasta la vista? Dad: Oh, right. Hasta la vista. I guess A-la...
Dear Boston,
I’m not sure how I feel about you right now. You’re making me a nervous wreck. Stop it.
Love,
alex
August 2010
At the bookstore today:
“Excuse me, do you have Augusten Burrough’s ‘You Better Not Cry’?”
“Oh, no. We don’t. I usually only carry it around the holidays. He was actually very nice when he stopped by here and read for us. Quite the lovely fellow.”
What I actually said: “Oh, ya. I met him in Boston during a reading. He is quite nice.”
What I wanted to say:...
“Teens were asked to respond to questions about circumstances under which a man...”
– Mary Pipher, Ph. D. Reviving Ophelia
(via screamedatthemakebelieve) (via ihatethismess)(via brave-slut)(via mrsvaldez)(via fight-war-not-wars)(via pigisapig)(via clitorisaurusrex)
(via caitlicious)
"What the...is this a lamp made out of a diving...
So, I went antiquing today in Williamsburg, Virginia. Twas quite the enjoyable experience. You know, except for the little girls having a tea party in the corner, could have done without the incredibly high pitched “HAPPY BIRTHDAY, ABIGAIL!”, but whatever. My purchases included:
-a newspaper print from London boasting a cartoon illustration of people riding an elephant at the zoo,...
1 tag
"Do you like my mira'?"
“Do I like your what?”
“My mira’, do you like my mira’?”
“……….ooooooooh, your mirror.”
My dad is only a little southern. Just a bit.
“The truth is that there are a lot of people like you, us, with strange hobbies...”
– Pushing Daisies (via patsushi)
copsandrobberss:
-relevant:
i just learned the texas state fair will have fried beer and fried margaritas this year
Wait fried food and alcohol? Now I must go. Good thing the fair runs till like the first week in October. Happy late 21st to me.
I still have yet to fully comprehend how they fry half the things they do.
Spectrophilia: sexual attraction to ghosts or...
theshadowgirl:
littl3misstrange:
(via randomsexfacts)
1 tag
My 400th post was about motorboating one’s own tits. CLEARLY this is a quality blog.
theshadowgirl:
deadpoetry:
still waiting for the day john mayer gets brutally murdered
THANK YOU.
stillinabal0yn:
Mom: “Here’s money to buy yourselves dinner after the game. Don’t keep her out too late, Al.”
Me: “Actually I was going to take her to a whore house so we can do coke off of hookers’ asses.”
Sam: “OH! THAT REMINDS ME! Do you remember the Burger King crack house next to our school?”
